My Crazy Night in Budapest

The most surreal, never ending, insane night I have ever experienced. Even now I ask myself, what the hell happened? Well here goes my attempt at explaining.

On my European adventures last summer Budapest was top on my list of places I was eager to visit. The city that has inspired songs, art and poems that I love. I wanted to know what the Budapest hype was all about.

The second night into our stay there we had familiarized ourselves with the club Instant after a pub crawl the night before. Instant is open till 6 am and filled with the most bizarre decor that plays on your mind when drunk. It is built up of many Alice in wonderland maze like rooms that kind of transport you to different dimensions with their obscurity. I highly recommend this club be on any Budapest goers agenda if that is your kind of scene.

Let me take it back, to the start of the second night. So we booked tickets to go to the famous Budapest Summer Spa Party, I had no idea this was a thing before my friend mentioned it but the description sounds delightful. Outdoor hot tubs, loud music, rapids and of course alcohol. We had a little pre-drink in our hostel since we’re students and we’re extremely cheap when it comes to buying drinks when out. So it was safe to say that when we left to get a taxi to the spa party  we were already relatively drunk. Not knowing the address we googled it online, the taxi dropped us off and it was eerily quiet with a faint sound of music that we presumed was coming from deep within the spa in front of us.

But oddly, the doors were locked. We checked and we were definitely on time but there just seemed to be no way in. Drunk and determined we must of  walked around that spa at least 10 to 15 times. We tried all sides, we asked everyone around, we had no idea why we could not get into this spa. We decided to go into the neighboring building to see if they could explain to us how we were suppose to get in. When we approached the entrance someone rushed out to meet us. Through the confusion of the language barrier and our drunken minds it was not clear exactly what they were hastily telling us. Until the final sentence that is, ‘This is a mental hospital, you must leave the premise’. Well that was not our intentions by a long shot to drunkenly disturb a mental hospital so we rushed away. We finally admitted we were in the wrong place after a solid hour and a half of walking around. We regoogled the specific date and year and found an entirely different address for the party so hopped in a taxi with our last ray of hope that we may finally make it to the party tonight.

Opposite to Cinderella when the clock struck 12 we were finally ready to go to the ball and it couldn’t of come sooner. The next place was bright, booming, loud and most definitely a spa party. We rushed in, no ques cause we were already 2 hours late and we headed straight for the outdoor heated pools to get our money’s worth. Well it was surreal inside, felt like an exclusive, sordid adult party. Everyone was in their swimming costumes so it was bodies on bodies all round and the pool wasn’t the only thing heating up. Awkwardly it did not dawn on us beforehand that an outdoor spa party would mostly resemble a giant orgie. There was a lot of movement going on under the water if you know what I mean. The place made me feel like I should go home and bleach my skin as a precaution. But we were there finally and we wanted to make the most of it, so we had a great swim, played in the rapids, made some friends that were from England and Australia and over all had a great few hours.

At 3 am the spa party ended but we were not ready to call quits on the night. So accompanied by our new friends we headed to the already discussed club, Instant. The struggle to get a taxi at 3 am was surprisingly real, but after a while we got there. Instant was buzzing as if it had only just opened. We drank a lot more, danced and again had a great night. My friend met a nice fella and they were getting friendly so I had lost track of her at 6 am when the club was about to close. I couldn’t see her around I figured she must have just gone out for air because we vowed we’d never to leave a club without each other. Sure enough she was there on the other side of the road, we waved and ran to each other as overly happy drunk friends do when they are reunited. But between us a fight broke out, honestly I don’t recall much of what happened. I was there, I was very drunk and I wasn’t really paying attention. But within minutes the police turned up and to resolve the drunken brawl they pepper sprayed everyone. Thus including the men involved, my friend’s new bae that was just nearby and a nice Australia guy who was just trying to split the fight up. I have no clue how myself and my friend dodged the pepper spray but 6 am, there we were survivors of the pepper spray aftermath and that was the beginning of a weird morning for us.

We were running around drunk but with the best intentions to help those that were in serious pain after being pepper sprayed, I mean no lie that stuff looks horrendous and honestly I am so grateful I did not get hit. We were pouring water in peoples eyes and I know this sounds ridiculous but at the time and in our drunken state it honestly felt like the aftermath of a battle.We then were advice to use milk as it is much more effective at cooling the burn than water. So there’s some solid advice for you if you ever get pepper sprayed. We didn’t have much money left so we were going around asking if guys could buy us a drink and when they said yes, what would you like? we were saying ‘milk please’ which they definitely didn’t expect to hear. By 8 pm we were soaked in milk, water and probably semen after that spa party. To say we looked horrendous would be an understatement. We were sobering up at this point and after my friend aided her new bae back to health it was decided that heading back to the hostel to put an end to this insane night would be ideal.

One problem. We weren’t complete sure where it was. Well there jumps in our last friend of the night. An English guy that had moved to Budapest and was more than happy to show us the way. So along we went, myself, my friend, a pepper sprayed man who was the brightest shade of red and this new guy who was very drugged up, wearing no t-shirt and just braces. Well it was a good 45 minute walk and the entire time I spent talking with this guy in braces, who I now fully believe to be a pathological liar. This guy told me he had 4 degrees, played 5 different sports professionally and owned 3 houses etc. etc. Despite being just a year out of Uni. So surprisingly I wasn’t too impressed with the guy. He was nice enough for showing us where we were going though. However after that night his bullshit was draining on me and quite frankly I was just in desperate need of lying down for a good 12 hours at this point. To make it worse I was desperate to pee but no where would let us in, oh how I missed England at that point. Cafes that were just opening up for breakfast did not want the likes of us in their restrooms and I don’t blame them. But I could not hold for the entire time, so my pathological lying friend  told me I could go pee in a car park and that he knows 100% for certain  that there are no cameras there. I didn’t believe him but hey nature calls so I had no choice. I peed and looked up to meet camera looking at me. I bet that was a wonderful video.

Almost back to the hostel at this point and I am so relieved that my bed is 10 minutes away…but wait plot twist. My friend who has already vouched to take her new bae back to bed with her then decides to invite the pathological liar into my bed so he doesn’t have to walk another 20 minutes. I quietly agreed after all she had put the invitation out there already and I did feel bad that he had walked us so far back. It was uncomfortable sleeping next to this guy but hey at least I was in bed at last, even if I was crushed up to the side. About 11 am I woke by rolling into the drugged up guys sweat puddle that has drenched my sheets. Worst morning of my life.

So yes, that was my crazy night in Budapest.

Any thoughts?





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